The Mommy Blues

I am in a state of shock. I just watched my little baby girl walk into first grade and I’m not sure how it happened. Where did those five, almost six years go? It was only yesterday when my husband and I buckled her into the car seat at the hospital, looked at each other and said, “What do we do now?”

I remember my first day of school well. I wore my best shoes, white- trimmed socks and a jumper dress. My daughter, however, insisted on wearing her new skirt as a halter-top over a t-shirt and pair of jeans. Not that I looked anything like my mother did on my first day of school. She was nicely coiffed with a tailored dress and heels; I managed a brushed ponytail and clean t-shirt over my sweat pants. Anything more was out of question as I threw the lunches together and rushed out the door.

When we arrived at school, there were moms and dads huddled around their kids taking pictures and shooting video. I didn’t get a chance for any of those movie moments. My home-school wanna-be burst into tears the moment we walked inside the classroom. The teacher came over, greeted her warmly and gave her a fun task to do. As she calmed down, I blew kisses and quietly stepped outside.

I walked to my car, holding back the tears. This wasn’t how her first day was supposed to be. I called Renata on the way home, “She’s part of the system now,” she shared. “You have to let it go.” The system! That concept bummed me out even more. I pulled over and got a coffee and donut from South Swell to console myself.

At home, I sat at my desk like a bump on a log. I had a long list of things to do but I was immobile. I called Annie. She had just put her son on the bus for the first time and was a wreck, “I complain incessantly about not having a moment to myself and when the moment comes, I’m chasing the bus incognito and counting the ‘mom’ents until he is home.”

“I think we have empty nest syndrome ten years early,” I said. She agreed whole-heartedly. Our mommy clocks were ticking way too fast. I typed ‘empty nest’ into my Internet browser and found the website emptynestmoms.com which features information on trout fishing trips, remodeling and recipe organization. Trout fishing never occurred to me as a cure for my first-grader blues. My kids would be thrilled--they love worms.

After calling everyone I know and eating everything I could find, the school day was almost over. When I picked up my daughter, she was jumping up and down with excitement. She had a pencil box full of colored pencils and stories about outer space. She had learned all about the moon, the stars and Neil Armstrong. She was obviously elated from learning and making new friends.

I guess Renata is right. The time has arrived for my daughter to be launched into the system and I am her launch pad. Since launch pads need fuel, I decided I’d better eat one more piece of cake and call it a day for mommy to remember.

Summer Musings

Perhaps my Therapist Mother or Professor Father are to blame, but several times a year, I like to reflect upon life and ask myself what I’ve learned. The answer is usually something boring, such as ‘I need to exercise more, eat less or be more patient.’ But this time a few points came back that I felt were worth sharing before the summer comes to a close:

1. The Albertson’s parking lot is not flat.
I learned this the hard way. While unloading my groceries, I momentarily lost contact with my shopping cart. Upon hearing screaming and commotion, I turned around and saw my cart careening down the parking lot at a rapid pace. Fortunately, only my groceries, and not my children, were in it. The cart smashed into the back of a SUV and broke a small taillight. My luck, the owners were about to get into their car. They were not happy. Once I explained the accident was caused by my bad grocery store mojo and offered to pay for all damages, they calmed down.

2. Children must be placed in strict quarantine one week before departing for the family vacation.
This summer, my kids went to a fairy princess birthday party the week before we left for Colorado. Big mistake. As if life weren’t exciting enough, my five year old came down with a fever of 104+. And of course, the younger one had to get it just as the older one was getting better. I have never watched so many pay-per-view movies in a hotel room--twelve to be exact. If you can’t place your kids in quarantine, come prepared with books and a list of movies to enjoy on your ‘vacation.’

3. As parents, we can never worry too much or be too grateful for every day we spend with our children and families.
This summer seems to have been full of mourning and loss for so many families in both my childhood hometown of Lexington, Kentucky and my new hometown of Laguna Beach. We recently lost our Aunt Rose, a fabulously strong and healthy woman who couldn’t survive an automobile accident. I have been a worrywart my whole life. I now see there’s no hope of that fretful habit ending anytime soon. As long as I couple my worry with gratitude and a box of See’s candy, I hope to enjoy each day.

So dear Summer, I bid you farewell. You have been hot, crowded and wonderfully delicious. My family and I had fun swimming at the high school, eating gelato downtown and dancing to music in the park.

Fall promises to be interesting. My five year old starts first grade next week. She recently informed us that she wishes to be home-schooled. I’m not sure where she learned those two words—it certainly wasn’t at home. I have been too busy building my latest invention, a shopping cart with brakes, to even contemplate a curriculum.